Hypocrite

"My boyfriend is such a cheat and a liar!" Sue shouted. "I’ve been going with the guy for nearly a year now and not once did he mention that he’s married."

"Oh, that’s terrible," her friend said.

"Yeah. What a hypocrite! I’d probably never have found out. I heard purely by chance when it was mentioned the other day by my husband."

Wedding Dresses

Why are wedding dresses white?

IT MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY BRAVE MAN WITH BIG BRASS ONES WHO WROTE
THIS!!!!!!

IT'S EVEN A BRAVER ONE WHO FORWARDS IT !!!!!!!


Son asked his mother the following question:

'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and
replies,

'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his
father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

Dogs and Clothes

I have a border collie called Amos. When he was 12 months old, clothes used to go missing i.e. underpants, balled up socks and tights.

We often wondered where they went.

Looking out of the window one day we found out!

There was Amos - squatting have a poo - first came out the perfectly balled up socks, followed by the underpants. This was quite funny, but not as funny was we howled as the tights soon followed. But they did not completely come out of his backside, but just hung there. He then spun round at took hold of the tight with his teeth and then procceded to pull them from his arse!

It should have killed him - but me and the wife nearly died laughing!